There is perhaps no scenario more heartbreakingly nightmarish for a parent than losing their child. The pain and sorrow at having to say goodbye to the thing you love most in all the world is enough to break even the hardiest of souls. For Whitney Quinton and her husband Brett, that nightmare became reality when they were forced to bid farewell to their daughter before she’d even had a chance to live.
Whitney Quinton spent many years fighting a number of different illnesses and conditions, including endometriosis and adenomyosis. After welcoming her first son, she suffered a terrible miscarriage in her next pregnancy, but continued to dream of one day giving her little boy a sibling. Three years after her miscarriage, she underwent surgery for endometriosis and soon after learned that she had fallen pregnant again. Needless to say, after the heartache of what had happened before, Whitney and her partner were overjoyed. Scans showed that the couple were expecting a little girl, though at the ultrasound, a scene that should have been one of undiluted happiness soon turned to tragedy.
The first warning sign for Whitney was that the scans were taking longer than usual. “I started getting worked up while we waited and my husband tried to reassure me it would be okay,” she explained. “My mind was going a thousand miles a minute thinking about all of the things she could have and how scared I was.”
Soon came the news that every expectant parent dreads. A radiologist stepped into the room and informed Whitney and her partner that their daughter’s heart was in the wrong spot. She was also missing a kidney, while her long bones were not growing, and she had severe abnormalities with her hands and feet. The reality hit both Whitney and her husband hard. They were faced with a heartbreaking decision.
Day and night, Whitney and her husband cried. They felt like they had nothing left to give. Selfishly, they wanted her. To them, she was perfect even though there were so many complications with her health. But as parents, they learned that it’s not about what’s best for them, it’s about what’s best for her and what she would want.
To aid them in their decision, the struggling couple turned to God. They prayed intensely, hoping to be given some sort of clarity on what was the right choice. Two days later, they finally agreed that neither she nor Whitney needed to suffer for one more minute. The induction was scheduled for a few days later, and the evening came for Whitney to take the medication to induce labor. She would be delivering her baby the next day.
Whitney’s experience when it came time to deliver her baby was, unsurprisingly, painful and traumatic. She woke up and the nurse came to check on her. In her sleep, their daughter, Ruby-Jo, had arrived. “The doctor came in to pick up her tiny, 1-pound, lifeless body, and I went into complete shock,” she said. Amid her heartbreak, though, her husband whispered a set of words she’ll never forget.
“Whits, it’s okay. You did it,” he told her. “She’s finally home and she’s perfect. She’s with our family in Heaven, and she’s not in pain anymore. I am so proud of you.”
In retrospect, Whitney learned that her baby’s heart defect likely meant that she wouldn’t have survived long outside of her mother’s body. It was hard news to hear, but it was a relief knowing that they had made the best decision for her. Whitney’s grief is still raw today, but she finds solace in knowing that Ruby-Jo is with their family and that they will be reunited someday in Heaven.
Rest in peace, Ruby-Jo .
