Last year Jake and Mary Jacobs celebrated 70 years of wedded bliss, defying all odds to reach this incredible marriage milestone.
In the 1940s, Mary, a White woman, met Jake, a Black man, in a city where very few people of color resided. Despite the challenges they faced, Mary was determined to stay with the man she loved, even after her father disowned her.
“When I told my father I was going to marry Jake, he said, ‘If you marry that man, you will never set foot in this house again.’”
Jake and Mary Jacobs (April 1948)
Jake, who had come from Trinidad during the war, and Mary, who lived in Lancashire, met at a technical college. They bonded over their shared interests, including Jake’s impressive knowledge of Shakespeare. Although Mary’s father strongly disapproved of their relationship, Mary and Jake remained committed to each other.
When Jake returned to Trinidad, they continued their connection through letters. Eventually, Jake returned to the U.K. in search of better job opportunities. To Mary’s surprise, Jake proposed, and at 19 years old, she happily accepted. However, when she informed her family, they cast her out.
“I left with only one small suitcase to my name. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.”
Mary’s father was horrified by her choice to marry a Black man, and she soon discovered that society shared a similar sentiment.
The first years of their marriage, spent in Birmingham, were incredibly difficult. Mary cried every day and struggled to find food. The couple faced constant rejection and discrimination. Finding a place to live proved nearly impossible, as no one would rent to a Black man. Even walking down the street together attracted stares and judgment.
Tragically, Mary experienced the heartbreak of a stillbirth at eight months pregnant. “It wasn’t related to the stress I was under, but it broke my heart, and we never had any more children,” she said.
Despite these hardships, their situation gradually improved. Mary pursued a career as a teacher and eventually became an assistant principal. Jake found work with the Post Office. They made new friends, but Mary always felt the need to explain her husband’s race before introducing him to others.
“My father died when I was 30, and although we were reconciled by then, he never did approve of Jake,” she revealed.
Now aged 84 and 89, Mary and Jake reside in Solihull, just south of Birmingham. They recently celebrated 70 years of marriage, a testament to their enduring love and resilience.
Reflecting on their journey, Jake shares his experiences of relentless abuse and prejudice during his early days in the U.K. “When I arrived in the U.K., I was subjected to abuse every day. Once, on a bus, a man rubbed his hands on my neck and said, ‘I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.’ And back then, a Black man working in an office with white girls was considered unsafe.”
Despite the hardships, prejudice, and abuse they faced, this remarkable couple remains deeply in love, with no regrets about their decision to wed. They are an inspiration to us all, a shining example of love conquering all obstacles. Let us join in celebrating Jake and Mary’s 70 years of marriage, and let’s wish them many more years of happiness together.
