Patient is a trait that I’ve always possessed. When my father remarried after the passing of my mother, I had the opportunity to put my tolerance to the test. Therefore, when my in-laws attempted to convince me to end my relationship with my husband before we could get married, I just utilized the knowledge that I had gained earlier in my life to remain resilient in the face of their assault.
It is true that attempting to find a place for yourself in the family of another person can be a very challenging endeavor at times. At the very least, it was for me when I first met the family of my husband. Consider the fact that I was born in Morocco, whereas my husband, Jeremy, was brought up in Georgia by a family that adhered to the most traditional American values. All of that ought to be sufficient to give you a sense of what I had to deal with.
After my mother passed away, I made the decision to relocate to the United States. At the time, I was 11 years old, and I had the impression that my entire world was about to come to an end. As an additional point of interest, my father wed a new woman just a little more than a year after the passing of my mother. As a natural consequence, the process of adjusting to life in a new nation and coming to terms with the fact that my mother had been replaced by another woman was upsetting.
We never got along, despite the fact that my stepmother wasn’t a horrible person. As a result of her insecurity around the fact that she would never be able to have children, she frequently acted in a manner that was hostile and distant toward both my sister and I. However, fortunately, my mother had trained me to always smile when people were purposefully being unkind to me. She used to try to upset us all the time by doing little things that she knew would make us uncomfortable. Unfortunately, she was always successful in her attempts to disturb us.
In the end, this proved to be an excellent protection mechanism, and my stepmother was unable to face the fact that her techniques were not successful in protecting me. I would never forget how effective it was to just smile through whatever petty new trick she had found to attempt to upset me. Things eventually calmed down, and we made peace with one other, but I will never forget how effective it was to grin through it. It was without a doubt one of the sweetest presents that my mother had ever given to me.
However, in comparison to Jeremy’s family, my stepmother was a relatively small obstacle. When we initially met, I had a feeling that we were going to have a protracted conflict with one other.
At one of the Fergus family dinners, I had the opportunity to meet Leona, Jeremy’s mother, as well as the rest of the Fergus family. I had been dating Jeremy for about a year at that point, and they had made every effort to avoid inviting me to their meals. They had used every excuse they could think of. In this instance, Jeremy made certain that they would not be able to avoid meeting me, and he even instructed his mother to prepare a few items that I would be able to have, given that I do not consume any pork or an alcoholic beverage.
I knew better than to blindly trust people who clearly had misgivings about me to respect my personal choices, so I ate as I would before a fast and prepared myself to sit around the dinner table while everyone else enjoyed their meal. My loving boyfriend was certain that there would be something for me, but I knew better than to blindly trust people who clearly had misgivings about me.
As soon as we arrived at the residence of Jeremy’s parents, the family greeted me with grins that were only partially genuine and brief hugs before we all sat down to have meals together. When Leona brought a cheery blonde woman up to me with a bright smile and said, “Oh, Aleah, you just have to meet Diane, Jeremy’s last girlfriend,” I was surprised since I had anticipated that the welcomes would be unpleasant and stiff. However, I did not foresee Leona bringing her over to me. In spite of the fact that we are all still quite close, I felt that you two may get along.
Diane shook my hand with a smile that seemed to say, “I’m sorry, I know, but what could I do?” She appeared to be a little bit ashamed despite her facial expression. Before she gave Jeremy a bear embrace, I introduced myself and we exchanged a few niceties. After that, she offered Jeremy a hug. She did not pay any attention to me at all and immediately began a chat with him about the events that were taking place in his life. In addition to providing answers to a few inquiries, Jeremy took my hand and led me to our appropriate seats.
The situation at the table continued to deteriorate. Upon opening all of the dishes, Leona discovered that each and every one of them included pork. The mashed potatoes had fat, the mac and cheese contained chunks of bacon, and even the turkey was coated with bacon throughout the preparation process. The moment Jeremy’s mother revealed all of the food, she turned her attention to me, expressed her regret for the abundance of pork, and offered me a drink. I said with a smile, “I don’t drink, but I’ll gladly take a glass of water.
” I actually don’t drink. After feeling a little disheartened, Leona got up to go and buy me one.
Throughout the course of the meal, every single member of the family made a series of careless, passive-aggressive, and mildly racist remarks that were geared specifically toward me. While this was going on, Diane received a whole lot of compliments. Given the way that her relatives treated her, it is reasonable to assume that she was a member of the royal family. On the other hand, I was fully aware of how to manage the scenario.
As opposed to letting my irritation show, I once again made use of the advice that my mother had given me. I smiled at every joke that was supposed to be funny, and I even complimented Diane a few times when she started laughing. I complimented Leona on how beautiful the spread seemed, and I expressed my gratitude to her thoroughly when she came to refill my cup of water. In spite of my nice approach, I could see Jeremy’s mother fuming with anger.
After the night came to an end, we expressed our farewells. However, I refrained from expressing my dissatisfaction with Jeremy’s family. I am able to deal with it. Nevertheless, things did not improve from that point on. immediately, everyone who wasn’t also a Fergus was immediately barred from attending family dinners.
Diane, on the other hand, was allegedly an exception to this rule. As a result, I frequently spent Christmas either by myself or with my sister. They never did anything to drive a wedge between Jeremy and I, and you can only imagine how surprised they were when he finally proposed to me.
At this point, Leona and the rest of the family have never made an effort to acquire any knowledge regarding my culture. In spite of the fact that they believed the wedding would be a conventional ceremony, Jeremy and I had intended to combine different traditions. Therefore, when all of the women, including Diane, turned up wearing white, I was completely ecstatic and complimented their attire during the entire event. Things did not go well with this.
During this time, my ensembles were comprised of every conceivable color, and I managed to outshine them in each and every photograph. There is even a picture of Leona that has the most sour expression I have ever seen on her face. A fantastic day had just passed.
On the other hand, the unspoken enmity reached a culmination the previous Christmas when Leona urged that I host.
It was only natural for me to accept, despite the fact that I was aware that she was just offering because she hoped I would be overpowered. To her good fortune, she did not take into account the fact that I was a frequent cook and had been doing so ever since I was a young girl. I was able to create a spread that was just remarkable.
