Am I Wrong for My Reaction to My DIL’s Comment?

A family gathering turned sour as a woman found herself in a heated argument with her daughter-in-law. The woman, in her late thirties, had been striving to maintain a positive relationship with her son’s wife. However, when faced with yet another hurtful remark, she couldn’t hold back any longer. Seeking some validation, she took to Reddit to inquire if her response was justified.

The woman explained that she had become a mother at a young age and, once her children were grown, made the choice to stay at home and get involved in community work. Despite having a well-off husband, she felt that dedicating her time to charitable causes was more fulfilling than returning to the workforce. While she acknowledged that her life had changed, she was happy to witness her 22-year-old son tying the knot, even if she wasn’t particularly fond of her daughter-in-law. She acknowledged that she had made some harsh comments in the past, but she never expected her daughter-in-law’s unkind behavior.

For instance, the Redditor mentioned that she and her husband had given her daughter-in-law a gift on her wedding day. However, her daughter-in-law responded by saying that she would only express gratitude to her father since she knew his money had been used to purchase the gift. Despite clarifying that she volunteered, her daughter-in-law dismissed her involvement as not being a “real job.” Yet, for the sake of her son, the Redditor tried her best to remain composed. She confronted her daughter-in-law and even discussed the matter with her son, but the passive-aggressive remarks continued.

One day, the mother-in-law hosted a get-together and prepared a homemade dinner. As she was finishing up, her daughter-in-law made yet another remark: “It’s not surprising that I could cook at home because I spent the entire day doing nothing else.” This time, the Redditor couldn’t take it anymore. She firmly told her daughter-in-law that she needed to show some respect. Despite the daughter-in-law being taken aback and shedding tears, the older woman stood her ground. This led to her son’s dissatisfaction and his belief that her reaction was unreasonable, resulting in the mother asking her daughter-in-law to leave their house. Seeking outside perspectives, the Redditor turned to the Reddit community for opinions.

Commenters overwhelmingly sided with the 39-year-old woman, agreeing that her daughter-in-law’s disrespectful behavior was unwarranted. They emphasized that the Redditor’s life choices, which may differ from her daughter-in-law’s business-oriented mindset, did not diminish her worth, especially if she and her husband were content with their lifestyle. Many readers pointed out that her involvement in charity work showcased her kindness and value to society. Some questioned how the Redditor’s son justified his wife’s actions and what the Redditor’s husband thought about the situation.

To determine if the mother was in the wrong, one Reddit user suggested that there might be more to the story. Despite the lack of background information, many readers were still appalled by the daughter-in-law’s behavior and believed she should learn fundamental decency. While some considered the mother’s response a necessary “verbal slap,” others anticipated that the daughter-in-law would play the victim instead of taking responsibility for her actions. Redditors emphasized the need for the daughter-in-law to mature and gain a better understanding of the complexities within relationships.

Many readers found it perplexing that the daughter-in-law took on the role of the head of someone else’s household. It was widely agreed that she should refrain from making “condescending” remarks. However, one commenter suggested that it was the mother’s responsibility to set boundaries and make it clear to her son and daughter-in-law that they were not welcome until an apology was given. Do you believe the mother’s reaction was inappropriate?