A heartbroken stepfather faces a moral conundrum after the death of his wife: should he welcome his estranged stepdaughter and her family into his home despite their past enmity and rude behaviour?

An anonymous male poster shared his story on the “AITAH” subreddit on January 8, 2024.

He recalled that his wife had two children when they were married: Juana, who was twelve, and Iago, who was eight. The couple went on to have two children of their own after that.

The Original Poster (OP) voiced his negative impression of Juana and Iago’s father, Juan, pointing to his frequent underhanded work to lower the amount owed and his infrequent child support payments.

When Juan visited them over Christmas, he boldly mislabeled a few gifts and claimed that one that was meant for Iago was from him.

OP decided to put up with the rude behaviour in order to avoid a conflict with the kids.

Reluctant to take his kids away from their comfortable surroundings, OP declined.

Despite the rocky relationship, Juana and Iago remained committed to their father.

Notably, Juan overshadowed OP’s monetary gift—whose contribution was not mentioned on the invitation—by walking Juana down the aisle during her wedding.

Despite these obstacles, OP chose not to make a scene because he understood that the wedding was not about him.

When Juana eventually gave birth to her first kid, OP was made fully aware that he would only be viewed as her mother’s spouse and not as the child’s grandfather.

Conversely, Iago and OP became friends because of the former’s constant courtesy and their shared experiences.

Iago showed his fiancée to them and kept in touch even after their shared loved one passed away.

They appeared to have a close relationship, as evidenced by Iago personally delivering a wedding invitation to emphasise his wish for OP to attend.

But there was a clear difference with Juana, the stepdaughter. Juana had cut herself off since her mother’s death, and the funeral was their last meeting.

Although OP had expected to see her again during Iago’s wedding, they were never reunited.

Juana’s family—including her kids—found themselves without a place to live as a result of financial difficulties.

Juana, who was in dire need of a place to stay, went to OP and asked that OP move his own children out of their rooms so that Juana’s family may take over the basement suite.

Reluctant to take his kids away from their comfortable surroundings, OP declined. He disclosed more: “I proposed to allow [Juana] to share two rooms upstairs with me. That’s not what she wanted, she said.

That left only the suite in the basement. I told them it wouldn’t happen and that was that.”

While OP struggled to deal with his stepdaughter’s request for safety, he had to confront the harsh truth that her father could not help because he lived in a bachelor flat and Iago was located in a different city.

Juana attempted to persuade him by evoking the fictitious position of her late mother, claiming that she would insist that OP allow access to the basement because, in her opinion, it was also her home.

Unwavering, OP emphasised the house’s unique ownership by reminding Juana that he had owned it separately before getting married to her mother.

When Iago contacted out amid the family strife, OP gave him the whole rundown of what had happened. Upon learning that Juana had been offered two rooms, Iago stated that he thought Juana had made a mistake by turning down the help.

Reluctant to uproot his children, who were navigating adolescence and coming to terms with the death of their mother, OP found himself balancing his empathy for the family’s predicament with his duty to his own adolescents.

Even if OP was uncomfortable about accepting someone who was harbouring animosity, OP was nonetheless prepared to offer assistance.

OP was experiencing mixed feelings when he questioned his conduct, pondering the situation and asking the internet community for advice: “AITAH for not letting my stepdaughter and her family move into my house?”

The story of OP has received a lot of attention online, with many comments supporting his choice and claiming that he is not to blame for this difficult family situation.

“NTA..No [choosers] can be beggars. She is pleading with someone she made it clear wasn’t family. You are honestly far too kind to even offer her those two rooms,” a person commented.

“NTA. Furthermore, I never would have suggested the two rooms. She is an adult, and this is her life. She made her own decisions,” a second commenter said.

It’s funny how considerate you must have been for her to even believe that your home was shared by two families. You made them feel at home without pointing out to her that it was yours. I bet you made a wonderful stepdad. NTA and happy you corrected her [sic],” revealed another Redditor.

What do you think about the OP’s decision to keep his stepdaughter and her children out of his home? In OP’s shoes, how would you respond?

He was right in not letting her get her way. What the hell did she think he was going to do for her after the way she treated him. Good for him. He should not have any regrets.