Am I Wrong for Telling My Sisters That They Are Not Allowed to See Me or My Child Again?
Family ties will never be perfect. There are situations where the outcomes could take an unexpected turn. One mother’s visit to her family’s home with her daughter had an unexpected outcome. She asked the Reddit community on the internet if her choice was incorrect.
The Original Poster (OP), 29, who wished to be anonymous, described her experience to her family. The woman related an instance in which she had given her two sisters, Lois (23), and Kara (26), the responsibility of keeping an eye on her 8-year-old daughter, V.
The OP talked on how nice of a relationship she had with her sisters. They were exceptionally close as children and did practically everything together. She also spoke of her daughter’s ingrained fear of being alone herself following her father’s passing. Her daughter clung to her for a long time before becoming independent as a result of this loss.
But the OP was left wondering if her relationship with her siblings would hold up to the challenge they were put to in light of recent occurrences. It all began quite casually. V was to have a lunch visit with her parents, as decided by the OP. Since Kara and Lois did not have steady employment, they continued to live at home under their parents’ roof.
Lois met the OP at the door when she got to her parents’ house. Their parents had gone grocery shopping, she told her. The OP accepted Lois’s offer to watch over V. It appeared to be a standard layout. One that had been carried out innumerable times previously without any problems.
She trusted her sisters, so she said yes. She made a brief phone call to her parents to let them know the plan before starting her errands. She trusted Lois to take good care of V, but she had no idea that trouble was about to get ugly.
The OP proceeded about her day, checking things off her to-do list and running errands. While returning to her parents’ residence, she got a panicked phone from Kara. Her sister told the OP that V was making a disturbance, and her voice was tinged with panic. The individual added, “She said that V is being ‘a brat’ and I need to come get her now.”
When the woman ran back to her parents’ house, she found them in a tumultuous state, with V sobbing on the porch and her parents furiously berating Kara and Lois. The woman, fretful, wanted to know what had happened.
Her mother calmed everyone down by revealing the unimaginable: V was alone in the house since Kara and Lois had left their post. Even though it took her 45 minutes to realize it, the understanding struck her like a ton of bricks and caused her to become extremely angry. It makes sense that the woman was outraged and worried about her daughter’s safety. She quickly and uncompromisingly rendered her decision, snatching V up in her arms:
“I picked up my daughter and yelled at my sisters that they were not allowed to see me or my kid again.”
Lois tried to clarify, but Kara objected, saying that V was old enough to take care of herself. But the woman was set on her course. She left a clamor of disagreements and wounded sentiments behind as she turned her back on her sisters and with a heavy heart withdrew to the safety of her automobile.
She attempted to make sense of the chaos in her life when she got home. Seated beside V, she asked thoughtful questions in an attempt to fully comprehend the depth of her sisters’ disloyalty. Her heart fell out of her chest at what she heard. They had left V alone before, but it had only been for a few short minutes. This wasn’t the first time.
I gave the woman’s daughter a hug and informed her that she would never see her aunts again. The young girl assured V it was a mistake and that she loved her aunts as V cried in her arms. The mother encouraged her daughter to take a nap since she was at a loss on how to explain the issue to V.
The OP discovered 12 missed calls and numerous texts from Kara and Lois when she checked her phone. She didn’t return calls or read any of them. The woman felt shame seething in her conscience after V’s tears. Was this harshness on her part?
Was it right for her to give her sisters another go? Nevertheless, the knowledge that she had done what she felt was right gave her comfort. Although her parents think the sisters’ actions were wrong, they shouldn’t break up with them because they are family.
Later, when the woman answered her mother’s call, she learned something that made her view of the issue change. Her mother said that Lois had no excuse for leaving V alone. Rather, Kara disregarded V’s upbringing while their parents were away.
OP phoned Lois to ask her story after receiving a call from her mother. Lois clarified that her partner, who was admitted to the hospital, had called her in an emergency. Shortly after the OP had left their parents’ house, the call was received. Lois asked Kara to keep an eye on V while she took care of her lover out of an urgent need.
Kara grudgingly accepted to watch V despite her reservations. But Kara didn’t follow through on her promise. Shortly after Lois’s departure, she fled the house. Upon discovering V sobbing on the floor, feeling terrified and abandoned, OP’s parents contacted Kara and Lois to handle the matter.
When Kara came first, she disregarded V’s anguish as exaggeration instead of expressing concern for her well-being. Then Lois made her way home. Kara got in touch with OP during this turbulent time and described V as unruly and disruptive.
After finding out the truth, the OP’s resentment of Lois vanished and was replaced by regret for passing judgment too quickly. Says she:
“Now that I feel better, I’m not angry at Lois. Kara, however, I’m really let down. (sic)”
OP acknowledged that her initial method of alerting V about the matter might have been unduly harsh after receiving input from others. She told V she was sorry and that she could choose whether or not to see Aunt Lois going forward. V excitedly declared that she wanted to stay in contact with Lois.
OP’s faith in Kara, though, has been seriously damaged. Because of this, she has decided to postpone Kara and V’s visits until she is certain that Kara will put V’s safety first.
She is still willing to give Kara another chance to win her trust by acting responsibly and sincerely apologizing. She has also told V that she will be able to pick when she is older whether or not she wants her aunt Kara to be involved in her life.
Redditors shared their thoughts on the matter and expressed disagreements. Some said the OP was wrong to repeat that to her daughter while she was unhappy, but she was right to tell her sisters that. They think that V might become hesitant to tell OP significant things in the future if she receives such a severe reaction when she comes to her with stuff.
Others, nevertheless, offered suggestions for how to manage the circumstance going forward. While some discussed Kara’s actions, others offered their thoughts on what they would have done if they had been in her position.
In a comparable circumstance, how would you respond?
